gothique doesn't exist (2014)

by [amos/anon]

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this is a previously unreleased collection of reimagined old songs and acoustic tracks that distracted me from my heavier work. they're rough, raw and unmastered, but they were never intended to be anything different. This isn't the next great kiwi export.This isn't your new favourite album. This is a records of my life and development as an artist.

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released July 15, 2014

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[amos/anon] Palmerston North, New Zealand

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Track Name: my soul evacuated
Once more then I’m done
This just stopped being fun
There’s a shadow where my body used to stand
What have I become?

Leave a note at the front desk
I’m no longer here
I’m sojourning through the atmosphere
I’m no longer here

Both my eyes are open but I’m not awake
My soul’s evacuated
I feel like plastic and you’re acting fake
My soul’s evacuated
My nose just started bleeding
The television’s wasting
Half the room is shaking
Feels like my teeth are breaking
My soul’s evacuating

Who will I be when it’s over?
How will I walk with no crutch?
Who’s this stranger in the mirror?
What have I become?
Track Name: apatheia
It’s so easy to point the finger
Away from yourself and blame me
So here’s a mirror to redirect your
Implications at yourself

What’s the point in trying to fix this
Situation when you’re the problem
Take your drama and finger fuck yourself

I am no angel but you are no better
You soul sucking vampire you’re so fucking clever
Your soul is poison, don’t lie you know it’s true
But you’ve lost your power, now I see through you
You’re like a flower that feeds from the heart of me
There’s not much left to love so wither in apathy.
Track Name: the long road
It’s such a long road
To carry such a heavy load
Twenty five years old
Walking like an old man
On my way back home
Feel like a refugee

I walk alone
Along this long and dusty road
There’s a sad song playing on my heart strings
There’s a small voice asking what tomorrow bring
Just me and my shadow
Walking the long way home.
Track Name: no goodbye
Analgesic, I still feel it
Gravity pulled me to pieces

Sister, brother, estranged father
Please watch over my darling mother

Please don’t cry
It’s not goodbye
Please don’t cry
I’ll see you on the other side
No goodbyes.
Track Name: stage ii: anger
I could suffer a thousand days
Or I could deal so I can heal
Drown in anger, live in pain
Or I could deal, so I can’t feel
Anything

If you had cancer it would be better
Cause then I could have time to change
But you were selfish, I’m just being honest
You went and threw it all away

I’m not angry, you’re still my brother
But I’m the one supposed to die
But you took that away from me
Now I see why I was scared
You pulled apart your family

But I’m not angry.