postmortem (2016)

by [amos/anon]

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i tried to make an album to deal with the five stages of grief after the loss of my brother to suicide. that album never panned out, because i've been stuck in stage iv, and where you're in that stage it's hard enough to get out of bed, let alone confront your own feelings.

so here is all I have. take it. i'm done with it.


released June 17, 2015




[amos/anon] Palmerston North, New Zealand

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Track Name: stage i: denial
i cant believe it
tell me it didn't happen
her voice is shaking
Track Name: stage ii: anger
i could suffer a thousand days
or i could deal so i can heal
drown in anger, live in pain
or i could deal so i can’t feel anything

if you had cancer it would be better
cos then i would have time to change
but you were selfish, i’m just being honest
you went and threw it all away
Track Name: stage iii: bargaining
all the things i should have said
running backwards through my head

all the things i should have done
i'm not the only one

but it's tearing me apart

the last time that we spoke
i take it all back

cause it's tearing me apart

i'd push back
the hands of time
if i could

i'd show you
that there's still good
in your heart

at nineteen
your life's supposed
to start
but you threw it all away

and it's tearing me apart